Here we are, one month away from a new year, and closing out 2019. I, like many, take some time this final month, to reflect back on this past year and focus on what I want to do differently this next year. I am not really big on New Years resolutions. I think they are great for having a starting point, but I don’t think that saying because it’s a new year, that you or I are going to be a completely different person. Here in a month, gym memberships will be on the rise, treadmills will be packed, and many will embark on a journey that few will actually stick with.
After that first paragraph, if you’re still with me and haven’t closed your browser, you’re probably wondering if this post today is meant to discourage you from making resolutions or goals for the new year. Quite the contrary actually. Hang on and let me explain!
One of the joys and purposes of writing this blog, is that while writing, I hope to be able to reach someone out there who may have just stumbled upon this accidentally. I hope they find encouragement in my words. While some entries may be more focused on photography or patriotism, a lot of the words you read are directly from me and things I am feeling while I type. While I am not an eloquent writer, if even a writer at all, my goal is to be honest and raw, delivering to you my emotion and thoughts the best way I can.
With Thanksgiving here in the United States just passing by, Americans around the world took the time to ponder and meditate what we are thankful for this year. I am thankful for so much but at the top of the list, I am thankful for ability to let go of the past.
For as long as I can remember, I have had the amazing talent of not letting things go. It’s probably a talent that in return has taken years off my life or possibly contributed to the gray hairs on my head and beard. Talent? No, of course not. The inability to be able to let things go, let the past pass, let things die out, is more like a plague. It is something I have personally tried to work very hard on over the last twelve months. With my birthday only two months away and turning forty years old, this isn’t something I want to continue to carry with me. I wanted to break the chains of this affliction and be able to wake up each day refreshed, as well as close the day with a clear mind and conscience.
I have always held to the belief that how I treat others is how they should respond to me. I’ve always had expectations of others I knew they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, be able to fulfill. At almost forty years old, I failed to accept the reality that each person is unique and responds in their own way. Because of this shortcoming on my part, it has caused strain on relationships and has also pushed me to extricate people from my life. I wanted them to respond how I thought they should respond, and if they didn’t, there must be something wrong with them. It always left me feeling disappointed.
So why do I bring this up? For starters, this is the first year I can honestly remember, that I conclude with feeling a sense of freedom I don’t know if I have ever felt. It’s truly liberating and I feel years younger mentally and emotionally. While we are winding down the last months of 2019, setting our eyes on the new year and different changes we want to make, why not look on the inside and do some cleaning? Sure, you want to hit the gym and finally take control of those few extra pounds. That’s great and I wouldn’t want to discourage you from doing that. But if the inside is broken or you’re carrying baggage from last year or last decade, hours on a treadmill and all the health food in the world isn’t going to fix that. Your heart needs to be reset and you need to be free from those things you never had the ability to control to begin with. Learn to let go and don’t enter 2020 a captive of the past.