Who Am I? Part 2

Wow! What a week in world news it has been. Once again, as I have written in other blog entries, we are a nation divided and one doesn’t have to look very far to see it. Open up your Facebook newsfeed, and if you have a diverse mixture of friends, you’ll see the debating back and forth over the bombing and killing of an Iranian general.

I’m not here to talk about that however. I want to continue and conclude on a top I started at the very end of 2019. I want to answer the question that I and so many are faced with at different times in our lives. Who are we? Who am I? How do I want to start this new year? Who do I want to be in 2020?

Like I wrote in the first part of this discussion, I am not big into New Year’s resolutions. I think they tend to fizzle out after a couple of weeks when we realize they just aren’t fun anymore. The beginning of a new year is good though because it sometimes forces us to recognize areas within ourselves that need improvement. Some people create goals for health reasons, while others create goals to try and better themselves in another way. Some just use January 1st as a benchmark for something. For example, I shaved what facial hair I had left on December 31st, and started growing my beard fresh the following morning. It’s a benchmark for me to look back on and see growth over time. There are other things I am using January 1st as a benchmark for however, to see growth over time.

While I don’t have a resolution for 2020, I do have a goal in mind. Overall, I want to be a better me than I was in 2019. I want to look back at the end of this year, and besides having a glorious beard to gaze upon in the mirror, I want to see personal growth. I want to take more time this year to reflect on life, to spend time with family and friends, grow as a person, and take the time be by myself and rejuvenate personally. As a photographer, and it’s probably weird to read this, but I want to hold the camera less. I want to see less through the lens and more through my eyes at the moment. I want to embrace each moment of 2020, whatever it brings, and use those moments as stepping stones to a better me.

For all of you reading this, and myself as well, 2020 will bring many things. There will be victories and defeat, life and death, happiness and sadness, as well as laughter and sorrow. It’s inevitable these things will exist, just as it is inevitable that we will look back on the last day of this year and reflect once again. So who am I? I am not the version of myself I would like to tomorrow, but I am grateful I am not the same person I was yesterday. I am who I am today, striving each day to be a better version.

Happy New Year to all those who read this, and may this year bring many lessons and blessings to each of you!

Who Am I? Part 1

Sitting in church recently, the pastoral staff spoke about identity. Some of the examples they gave sent me wandering down a rabbit hole of thoughts as I wondered who I am. What is my identity in this life?

We know life is short. Our childhood years pass by so quickly, and then we are thrust into the world of a young adult; going to school or working (sometimes both), and then BOOM!, we are adults with responsibilities. We quickly find ourselves with families, full-time jobs, bills, struggles, and serious decisions with serious consequences attached to them. For most of our lives we get into a rhythm of going to work, managing a home, raising a family, and the years fly by. By the time it is all over with and we realize how quickly it all seemed to come and go, we find ourselves with gray hairs (or no hair), a body that creeks and cracks with every step, and we are planning our final years of life. Life is short.

Who am I? That’s the question I have asked myself so many times before, but as 2020 approaches, I ask myself again; this time more seriously. Who do I really want to be as I go into this new year? I realize on February 1st, I will turn that age that most people (including myself), cringe at. The big 4-0. I’m not looking forward to it and it is a big reminder that life passes us by so quickly. Will it bring a midlife crisis? Who knows. But what I do know is that it is causing me to think deeper into many things. Who am I?

Last year I was on the brink of beginning a new adventure that took me through nine different New York State counties, where I photographed over thirteen hundred military veterans along with their families and/or guests. It was a journey that put me on the front page of a couple local newspapers and in front of television cameras. It was an adventure that was not only therapeutic for me, but for so many people I met. It’s an understatement for me to say I met some of the finest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Here I am however on the eve of a new year and I am thinking what adventures will take place this coming year.

When I go certain places, I am often met by comments like, “Hey, you’re that guy traveling New York and taking pictures of veterans,” or, “Hey, I saw you on television.” How do I want to be greeted this new year? When I sit here at this computer a year from now, Lord willing, what incredible journey do I want to be writing about? With as much control as I may have over this next calendar year, what do I want to seal in the history books of my life? Ask yourself this same question today. This is the final day of 2019 and a new year will begin as a new day; inevitable and with a clean slate.

As far as my answer, you’ll have to wait until next year. See you tomorrow for Part 2!